Ask The Google Bitch: Why do Facebook Friends Not Speak to You in Public?

Better late than never.  The Google Bitch promised a weekly column, but has never been known for her punctuality.  Furthermore, this site owner seems to be rather busy lately and can’t seem to find time to publish a simple post.  Regardless, welcome to the 2nd column in the Ask The Google Bitch series.  If you’re new here and are wondering what this is all about, please refer to her previous column All Your Pantyhose Questions Answered.

And let it be said that this bitch is happy to be able to help all those poor people being forced to wear pantyhose.  This travesty must end.

Yet it’s time to move on to another cause.

The new sanitized question of the week is “Why does someone want to be your Facebook friend when they won’t speak to you in public?”

There were many variations of this question, but the theme is the same.  Web searchers continue to ponder the concept of the Facebook friend as they try to relate the web ”friendship” to the concept of the friend they’ve come to know and love in the fading world known as reality.

The short answer is….you can’t.  The word “friend” is being used a little loosely when it comes to social media.  The definition of the term has, in fact, been broadened in the modern definition.  Dictionary.com provides the following clarity:

Friend (frend) (noun):  1) A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.  2) A person who gives assistance;  a patron;  a supporter.  3)  A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.  4) A person who is a member of the same nation, party, etc.  5) A member of the Religious Society of Friends;  a Quaker.

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