Those around me don’t get it. They say I’m obsessed. They are tired of hearing me ramble about my fantasy players, my stats, my rankings, and my waivers.
They have left me no choice.
With no post in weeks on what may appear to be an abandoned blog, I’m forced to bring my forbidden subject to this site, where I can write about what I want, when I want, and I can switch back and forth to my other tab in a last-minute attempt to pick up some last minute free agents just in time for week 6.
So as I dust the cobwebs off this site, I give you. . .
27 Signs That You’re Overly Obsessed With Fantasy Football
- You spend weeks trying to think of the perfect team name.
- You participate in more than 2 mock drafts.
- You arrange your vacation around Draft Day.
- You show up on draft day with spreadsheets filled with notes and stats and several colors of highlighters.
- You’ve added one more addiction to your cell phone by putting the Fantasy Football app on your front page.
- On Sundays you find yourself refreshing your stats every few minutes.
- You refer to your fantasy players as your “peeps”.
- You spend the first half hour on Monday mornings discussing your fantasy results with your co-workers.
- You spend the next half hour on Monday mornings researching players to pick up off the waiver wire for next week.
- You greet people by asking “How’s your fantasy team doing?”.
- Someone mentions an NFL player and you immediately interject with “He’s on my team!” as you then ramble about some random fantasy football experience. And you fail to notice that they’ve walked away.
- You’re more upset than normal when your cell phone battery is dead…and it’s Sunday…and you have no access to your @&*% stats.
- When you win, you proclaim yourself a fantasy god. When you lose, it’s stupid luck. And so you keep pointing out that had you played that guy on your bench with over 20 points, your opponent would have been dog meat.
- You refer to your vacation as a bye week.
- By week 6, you’ve already replaced half of your original team.
- Your opponent is somehow distracted and you refuse to remind them their starting tight end has a groin injury.
- You’re still beating yourself up by wasting your first round draft pick on Chris Johnson.
- You brag about the guy you just picked up off the waiver wire and you have no idea who the hell he is.
- You watch the simulated game on StatTracker instead of live TV.
- You panic when your fantasy player has 0 points and you can’t determine if he’s actually even in the game.
- You’re so busy celebrating your Monday night win and the fact that nobody in your league had Golden Tate that you completely miss the controversial call against Green Bay until you see the highlight the next morning.
- Worse yet, when your husband wakes up from falling asleep and asks you the final score, you realize you don’t even know.
- You feel shame about wishing for some real injuries so you’ll have the chance to pick up their replacements on the waiver wire.
- You have no favorite team. Even worse, you completely shed your loyalty to your favorite team as you root for your fantasy player to make a touchdown against them–just so you can be the week’s high scorer in your league.
- You have really strong opinions about players who you’ve never watched actually play.
- Your Facebook friends think you’re weird because of your whiny post about Brian Hartline scoring 42 points and being on your bench.
- You talk about your fantasy team with people who clearly don’t care. And you don’t really care that they don’t care. Perhaps you even write a blog post about it.