It’s been a while. Life has once again gotten in the way of blogging. The great thing about that is that taking time to live gives you great blog material. In fact, I had a great topic for tonight and was fully prepared to write a humorous, yet insightful post.
But after a quick check of recent comments, I’ve taken a complete U-turn and am going a different route. A nerve has been touched.
Sigh.
It was bound to happen. When we bloggers put ourselves out here as we do, we’re fair game for vicious attacks from those who hide behind their anonymity. In particular, when you make attempts at humor, some posts are going to fall flat. Some posts will be funny only in your own mind. And yet other posts are going to be met by readers who thank you for giving them a good laugh.
And any of the above posts could be read by a person who not only fails to find humor in your subject matter, they find it offensive enough to blast you in your comments. By “blast”, I mean make personal attacks by calling you a cyber-bully, a hater, one with anger issues, one who needs a life, or one who spends too much time carrying on in a blog when she should be spending quality time with her children. Wait a minute, she forgot “mean girl”. Is that still a hot buzzword? Can I be one of those too?
This is me. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
Puh-leez.
The post that offended pertained to the apparently delicate subject matter of snacks for soccer kids. I called the post “The Daunting Snack Assignment”. What some may refer to as “carrying on” I refer to as finding humor. Some got my humor, including my daughters. Apparently, however, an avid soccer-snack-seeker did not and felt the need to eject word vomit in my comment section.
If the intent was to anger me, it didn’t really work. I’m more bewildered than offended. I find it odd that with all the offensive material on the internet these days…the porn, the language, the violence, the political debates… this person focused her attack on on my little obscure post about extreme soccer snacks.
I’ve often wondered how I would react to my first hate mail. Would I decide that I had then arrived in the blogging world? That I would be happy to have some controversy that would pick up traffic? Or would I back-pedal, and retract all my attempts at humor and then delete my offensive post in order to make the world a better place? Would I then change my blog theme to sunshine, lollipops and rainbows and turn my focus on trying to spread joy and peace across the lands?
Or would I just use that Moderate Comments function that allows me to pretend the obnoxious commenter never “graced” the presence of this site?
Nah, I took none of those routes. I came out swinging.
That’s right. Anyone that would take to time to complain about a blog post where I made fun of another discussion thread must be really naive to think that they’re not going to be fodder in my next post. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have this weird thing about having the last word.
In case you’re curious, I responded quite verbosely, as I tend to do. I will give you the abridged edition by including my closing lines only.
Anger issues? Hater? Cyber-Bully? I get that you’re up on all the latest buzzwords. Perhaps a dictionary is needed so you can look up those terms before you start throwing them around so easily.
Maybe while you’re at it, you can Google how to lighten up and get a sense of humor.
Now let me end this with a Z-Snap.
Z-Snap: When a person (usually a girl) snaps three times in the air in the shape of a Z. People do it to mean ‘oh no she DIDNT!’ or ‘u got told!’ It’s gotta be done with a lot of attitude. ~Urban Dictionary
Sorry to hear that you had a bad experience. My blog is also very personal in some ways. I even had a stalker once and that was pretty awful.
It’s very rare that it happens, since most people understand that if I write about lingerie, it doesn’t mean that I am trying to find some action this way. I am in a relationship and I mention it on my blog from time to time.
Jessica
http://www.fantasystockings.com
Oh, I bet you do get some crazies. A post about panyhose has brought in some crazy web traffic for me. No comments yet, but the search terms crack me up some days. I can only imagine your stats, haha.
Thanks for the comment!
Been there and done that! I guess I can be offensive, or so I have been told, at times. I usually blow off the mean comments that directly attack me. Now if there is some merit in it, then I will get into a debate. Also, if it is just a plain stupid comment directed at me that actually makes me chuckle, I share it for the world to see. Nothing like preventing someone from attacking you again when they know you are going to make it available for the world to see. Some people just don’t like that!
Some people just go around looking for fights wherever they can find them. Really that makes the person a cyber-bully instead. Or maybe they just missed out on their juice box at snack time and felt the need to take it out on you.
I agree. Why not just exit the site if you don’t like what you see? That’s what I do. Not like I’m trying to start a political debate or anything, haha.
You and my favorite cup of Joe are my morning activity before the mundane corporate workday takes over my life. You and that peaceful 8 oz. at 5:30 in the morning makes life bearable until…..5:45 when I have to turn your blog off and listen to the blog of my 6 year old recant her dreams…either way you have made my morning the best part of my day! so THANK YOU…..and to the “hater” : Go pack a soccer snack!
Oh, you’re so nice. Although I feel a little guilty now for no blogging often enough, haha. Thanks for the kind words!
You handled this perfectly! If you want to know hate comments, you should try being an x-Republican, x-Evangelical, bi-racially married with mixed kids, and who still loves me some Jesus try and do a humor blog! Ha! Lord have mercy; I can’t even begin to tell you the people I’ve offended. But I don’t answer their comments. I delete them before they ever show up so that they don’t get to control my space and then I write a humorous blog about them where I have complete and total control. Sweet! “Keep calm and blog on. . .” Cheer! ET
Haha! I love your comment, and I love the way you think! Somehow, I’ve missed your blog for a while, and I’m going to have to make sure I frequent it more often, because you’ve got some funny stuff out there! And you’re so right. Everyone has this idea of what they think everyone should be and the little box they need to fit into. The truth is that people are all different, and that’s what makes the world a more interesting place. What’s offensive to one person is funny as hell to the next!
Looking ahead, I’ve decided moderation is the key (comment moderation, that is) and then get some mileage out of it on my next post! Thanks for the support!
Well, I think you handled this like a champ! Came out swinging!
I’ve not had a pleasure of such a comment yet, but I don’t really offer anything meaningful. What are they gonna say? I don’t like your outfit? Haha
I love your blog! You make me laugh. Keep on writing, my friend!
Thank you. No, I don’t think you’ll ever get hate mail. Then again, there are some strange people out there who might not like an outfit and feel the need to tell you so, haha.
Your blogs rate among my favorite reading material. Maybe you’re controversial, maybe you speak your mind – shame on a strong, self-aware woman for having an opinion! – and maybe some people can take their hate elsewhere. I think you handled it splendidly!
Thanks so much, Amanda! I probably deserve a bad comment here or there, but to tell me my kids probably hate me was what sent me over the edge. I’m with you. If you don’t like what someone puts out there, there’s a little x in the right upperhand corner of the screen, and you can exit really quick…and never return. At least I got a good post out of it. Some things just write themselves, haha.
Hi there! I’ve tried twice to leave a comment on your last blog post–I had some stories about that for you but for some reason it wouldn’t post. Wanted to let you know I sympathized with what happened to you. Has anyone else had problems leaving comments??? let me know! Marcia @ http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com
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I just found your comments. They went to my spam folder for some reason. I un-spammed you, so they should go through now. Guess I need to check that folder more often!
Good! So you saw what I wrote? Just wanted to make sure you knew you weren’t alone in this. Forget the haters–you are FAR better than they could ever hope to be!!!!!
I did, and thank you again. I love how bloggers back each other up. No room for haters here–it’s my new rule, haha.
I’ve gotten lots of hate mail – particularly during a dark time in my life, the PPD, in which I was drowning in misery and wanted to take down all around me. Here’s my thoughts: it takes a GREAT writer to spark both positive and negative. If everyone just LOVES what you say you are playing it safe. I ALWAYS allow for both negative and positive comments, I don’t moderate and take out the negative. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Don’t like me? You don’t have to. But, read me.
You’ve made it my fellow sista.
Thanks, Jlee. Wise words, and I’ll keep them in mind. Safe is no fun. In fact, controversial bloggers are my own personal favorites.
Left a long comment here but for some reason it didn’t post, so here goes again….I got a hater comment a few months back when I did a post called, “How To Annoy Your Children.” This “anonymous” person (aren’t they always–too cowardly to give their name), had apparently been verbally abused by their mother, and didn’t take too kindly to my post. She said some mean stuff back. My first reaction was to delete her comment, but then I decided not to lower myself to her standards, so I addressed her directly–told her I was sorry for what she had been through and that NO child should ever have to endure any form of abuse. I then reassured her my post was all tongue-in-cheek and that my family is just like that–all jokesters. She mentioned that my kids would basically hate me when they grew up. I again assured her that my kids were already grown up and that we were ridiculously close–as in best friends–and that she need not worry about me. I then told her she needed to lighten up. That was it–and I felt so much better afterwards. The only other thing that happened was a lady who apparently didn’t like the fact that I had music come on my blog (at that time) automatically when you clicked on the site. She had sensitive ears and found my music loud offensively loud. I gently told her she had the option of lowering the volume on her computer if she didn’t want to hear it.This royally pissed her off–she wrote back and said I was rude to expect my readers to adjust their own volume settings. Guess she thought all blogs should cater only to her needs. She was just being a bitch, so I ignored her. Don’t let the soccer-mom-asshole get to you—her kid is probably the worst one on the team and she hates people like you who are talented, beautiful and have (good) athletic kids. Your blogs are awesome and ALWAYS make everyone smile….she just doesn’t know what she is missing!! http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com
I’m so glad I found your comment, and am so sorry you went to spam. I would have hated to miss this one! I actually saw that first comment on one of your posts (which was really funny, by the way). You handled it well. The commenter raised a delicate subject there, yet they didn’t have to resort to saying your kids would hate you one day. My commenter also said she bet my children hate me. I would have let ‘er rip on the one about the music though. If her ears are so sensitive, then why was her volume up? People get upset over the dumbest things. I know I rant in my posts, but if it were something I was really mad about and couldn’t find any humor in, I probably would rant on Facebook instead of my blog, haha. I agree that people just need to lighten up. So many people are offended by so many little things that I don’t know how they get through life. Sometimes, you just have to find humor in things. We’re all different and we all find interest and humor in different things.
Thanks so much for the compliments. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, but I will certainly take them! And I love your blog too! Anyone who hates on you has a personal problem!
I moderate comments and i highly recommend it. It’s an urban myth that those who don’t get their offensive, obnoxious comments posted will not return. In fact, by allowing such comments, you’re actually pushing away your desired audience. I get shitty comments all the time, but I don’t post them–unless they’re unique–meaning they’re sprinkled with creative grammar, etc. Then i do print in order to mock away.
Don’t change your voice, don’t ever. Deleting the post would declare the haters winners.
I do moderate, yet I’ve never had to. I decided to go the mocking route, haha. If I get a follow-up, however, I will wield my powers of moderation.
Good point about running away your intended audience. We can’t let obnoxious posters take over our blogs. Let them start their own.
Just keep on writing. Your posts brighten my day.
Oh, thank you. You are too kind!
OMG….someone sent YOU hate maill? YOU…my blogging hero? How dare they! Your posts make me laugh…and when I say laugh, I mean downright lose my mascara laugh! Your humor makes me smile and can turn a totally crappy day around in a minute for me. So keep on doing what you do and writing what you write, and don’t let some moron on the other side of a computer screen make you think twice about your writing skills. Rock on sister- and your peeps will continue to read on!
Haha, you are too awesome for words. You made my day! Such a great compliment for a cyber-bully like me!
People really do need to lighten up and have a laugh now and then. That lady needs more than a laugh…maybe a stiff drink, haha.
I haven’t been on the receiving end yet of any of these haters but I have seen it on other blogs. Like one today where a commenter complained about the bloggers use of the word ‘nazi’, referring to a parking inspector as a parking nazi…when the commenter complained about it the blogger changed it to another word.. Where do we draw the line?
I know. Wonder if Jerry Seinfeld caught hell with the whole soup Nazi thing…didn’t stop him.