With the April 17 deadline looming, the headlines are focused on those who haven’t filed their taxes yet. People who they (whoever they are) have decided are procrastinators, fiscally irresponsible, disorganized idiots, and overall slackers.
They would be describing people like me.
I prepare the taxes for my household, or at least I should be right now. As I publish this post, I’m down to 8 days. Eight days that are going to go by in a flash. Eight days that are most likely going to be the most beautiful spring days ever. Eight days that I’m going to continue working, paying bills, some form of housekeeping, sleeping, keeping up with the kids’ comings and goings, fitting in a blog entry or two, trying to fit in a quick jolt to the beach…and somehow fitting in those damned taxes I’ve been putting off.
The real kicker is that I’m pretty certain we’re getting a refund this year. I can’t say how much because, well…I haven’t done the taxes yet. It makes complete sense to prolong the actual filing of the return when you owe the big, bad IRS, but when you’re getting a refund? It’s ridiculous, I know.
The deadline certainly comes as no surprise. I’ve had months to get this done. Hell, it’s an annual
event chore time of complete chaos. I really have no excuse.
And yet I do.
So to help out those financial guru’s that can’t quite figure out what makes people like me, the procrastinator, tick, I present you with the reasons as to why I have not yet done our taxes:
- Other demands have required my more immediate attention.
- I tend to get lazy sometimes.
- I’m still plundering for receipts.
- I work better under pressure.
- When everyone else’s refund is gone, mine will be just getting here.
- There’s always something better to do.
Now let’s look into that last
reason excuse. On any given day between the time we had all our W-2′s, I’ve been able to find something I would rather be doing, something other than taxes. And with that, I present you with another list, because lists are all I’m good for right now (I told you I need to start my taxes):
Things I’d Rather Be Doing Than Taxes
1. Get a root canal.
2. Wait in line at the DMV. Or Walmart on a Sunday.
3. Clean the gunk underneath the refrigerator.
4. Watch all the Twilight movies in one sitting. Again.
5. Ponder the ingredients of Spam.
6. Watch a marathon of all the Kardashian shows without barfing once.
7. Help a Hoarder by organizing their home.
8. Babysit Brangelina’s kids.
9. Negotiate our Verizon bill.
10. Fill out those 200 papers from the 1st day of school again.
11. Listen to a Jonas Brothers CD over and over for a solid day.
12. Get stuck in an elevator with ”Toddlers and Tiaras” mothers or “Dance Moms”.
13. Scrape someone else’s melted gum off the bottom of my shoe.
14. Get in a political debate on Facebook.
15. Get in a political debate with Snooki.
16. Get a colonoscopy.
17. Consume pink slime straight-up.
18. Clean kitty poop and pee from a car that was left with windows down for a night.
19. Smell my daughters’ shin guards.
20. Go door to door selling fundraiser
21. Be forced to watch The View every morning for a week.
22. Get a Brazilian bikini wax.
23. Spend an afternoon(s) waiting for the cable guy to arrive.
24. Catch up with what Wesley Snipes is doing lately.
25. Write a blog post about how my taxes aren’t getting done.
So here I am, taxes still unfiled, yet I write a post as a community service to all the panicked last-minute filers. Because I am all about public service, charity, and doing all I can to be an overall good neighbor in this over-taxed world that we live in.
And furthermore, I’m getting a head start on my 2012 tax returns as I contemplate how to get some sort of tax credit for this very ”charitable contribution”. As such, comments are encouraged as always, but any blank receipts that you can manage to scan in would be greatly appreciated.
If you like this post, you might like Slow Death By Banking.