April 3rd marks “Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun” day.
I promise I didn’t make that up. But while I can find nothing on how this holiday originated, let’s just say that since it’s on many of the national holiday calendars across the web, it’s official in my book.
As I see it, this holiday leaves us with two options. Option #1 is to have fun at work.
Now be warned that I’m not recommending you to follow all my suggestions. Throwing such caution to the wind could result in a reprimand, alienation of co-workers, a tarnished professional image, and worse yet, getting fired.
You know I’ve got a disclaimer for everything.
But here are some things you can do to celebrate this day…if you just don’t care about all that. Maybe you’ve won your fair share of a half-billion dollars in the lottery or something recently. Yeah, I’m talking to those 3 people.
- Dress appropriately for the occasion. A Hawaiian shirt, complete with a lei, flip-flops, a Panama hat, and Bermudas are in order. If casual dress is prohibited, go a different route and wear your professional clothes, but make sure nothing at all matches.
- If someone brings in doughnuts, take them all to your desk. When the email comes out that there are doughnuts in the break room, try not to giggle as co-workers go from confused to agitated.
- Race people to the elevator and sing”Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah” as you let the door close on them.
- Decorate your cube. No doors? No problem. Bring in a shower curtain rod and hang your craziest shower curtain. Love beads would also provide a playful ambience.
- Bring in a lava lamp or disco ball and ask your personnel director where you can plug it in.
- Liven up those cubicle walls with some artwork. Maybe a sign that reads “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem”, a flashing neon sign that reads “Bar is open” or a Bob Marley poster.
- Change your ringtone, and crank up the volume. Leave it at your desk as you walk away. Suggested tunes are: “Bang on the Drums All Day”, “Working in the Coalmine”, and “Hiding in the Lime Tree”. I don’t expect you to know that last one, but my daughter highly recommends it, and I feel it suits the occasion. It’s by Trevor Hall. Check it out. http://youtu.be/ny0TSwjvrAg
- See how long it takes someone to notice that you haven’t turned your computer on all day. If no one’s saying anything, announce that you’re happy to see that it’s a slow work day or complain that you’re bored and have nothing to do.
- Walk around saying “Thank God it’s Tuesday” or “At least it’s not Friday”
- Let someone catch you at the photocopier making copies of selected pages from the employee handbook. Let them wonder why.
- Go crazy with post-its. Write silly messages on them and leave them everywhere for your co-workers. At their desks, in the break room, on the printer, and yes, the restrooms. Suggested messages include “I know what you did”, “You’re being watched, and “Please wash your hands this time”.
- Ask co-workers if they need a hand. If they say yes, give them a photo-copied image of your hand.
- Make one of those paper fortune tellers and pester your co-workers to pick a color, then a number. Let them know who they’re going to marry once/if they do.
- Carry an umbrella around with you all day. If the sun is shining outside, this is even better.
- Walk around with a disposable paper mask covering your mouth. Reapply anti-bacterial lotion on your hands all day, and spray Lysol incessantly.
- Give your boss a noogie.
- Take a pad and pen to the restroom with you. Return to your desk with notes.
- Write Top Secret on a folder and bring it with you to your next meeting. Make sure it’s full of papers.
- Water the fake office plants.
- Throw an office birthday party for someone who’s not having a birthday. Go all out with a cake, party hats, and a card signed by everyone.
- Refuse to stand or walk all day. Use your swivel chair to get where you’re going. Even to the restroom.
- Say “What’s that smell?” for no reason whatever. Make lots of faces and repeat the phrase every so often.
- At break time, tell everyone you’re going out to recess to play. Ask if they want to come play with you.
- Add an automated “out of office” reply to your emails, saying “_______ is in the office today, but is currently at recess. If immediate assistance is needed, please contact co-workers.”
- Burn popcorn in the microwave, then leave for lunch. Warning: it will still reek an hour later.
- Doodle a big frosty mug of beer while in a conference call.
- Challenge your cube-mate to a pencil fight. Then gather all the pencils from the supply room.
- Empty your waste basket into the large trash can in the break room…every hour.
- Skip to the photocopier.
- Stand at the window looking out just long enough for a few co-workers to join you as they try to figure out what you’re looking at.
- Send emails in text lingo. Example: r u going 2 the mEetIng? BRB, lol. <3
- While in a meeting, look over your co-worker’s shoulder and copy his notes word for word.
- When someone approaches your desk, quickly pick up the phone and start talking, even though the phone didn’t ring. Then turn to them and say “not now, I’m on the phone”.
- Hum the same song all day. Make it something random, like “I’m All Out Of Love” by Air Supply.
- When it’s time to leave, tell everyone “Have a nice weekend” or “See ya’ Monday”. This is especially effective if the holiday doesn’t fall on a Friday.
Now if all that seems just a little too risky, and it probably should, this brings us to Option 2. Pull a Ferris Bueller, and play hooky.
But don’t tell anyone I gave you the idea. I wouldn’t want to stir things up.
Have a great weekend.
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