I’ve come to the realization that I need to post more frequently. Not because I think you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for my next post, mind you. No, it’s because I get a little analytical and, well, my stats are starting to flatline. My stat chart is starting to resemble the image of those polygraph tests that the guy gives on those scandalous reality shows when it’s time to weed out those lowlives with a sordid past. Yes, it’s all over the board.
Sure, there’s the occasional Google hit by someone who was really searching for “soccer poster”, “mean soccer moms”, “mothers who drink margaritas”, “i hate my job”, “why don’t they serve beer at work”, or “throw up”, and that’s fine. I welcome all types into my little blogging world, although I’m questioning the “throw up” dude just a bit. Googlers and Bingers are great, because that means I’m getting out there, I’m being found, I’m relevant. Maybe I’m pushing the envelope just a little here, but clearly, there’s a problem that I don’t post frequently enough, because in real life, I have a lot to say.
What’s holding me back?
Well, every subject I consider to blog about seems taboo. Someone might get offended. Trust me, I have a lot of material. I’ve started lots of drafts that have yet to see the time of day. Being a little more radical seems to translate to more hits (just ask Howard Stern), but being a little more radical also presents some problems.
I’m thinking alienation, lost friends, ticked-off family, pissed-off co-workers, job loss, angry teens, husband that finally decides to read my blog, tarnished reputation, hate mail, death threats, etc. And the big one…lawsuits!
It doesn’t take much. Any anecdote can offend someone, particularly if they’re the butt of the joke. An editorial article about something that ticks you off may make you come across as being angry or whining. A post about work could result in a pink slip. A post about my girls’ soccer could leave me sitting alone in a chair down near the goal all season. Any opinion about anything will most likely offend the most remote organized group that is for exactly what you just said what you are against.
Yet, I find some humor in things that others may not.
I wouldn’t be writing this Jerry Seinfeld-ish post about nothing, unless I had a plan, however. And I do. I’d like to welcome you to a new page I’ve added to my blog. Something I had no idea I needed to have, but apparently it’s a must…a disclaimer! A page that will protect me from all I’ve mentioned. A page that will protect me from all those who may be offended by what I write at any point in time. A page that will deter any litigation from me and my sometimes-warped sense of humor – a must in this litigious society we live in today. A page that will relieve this burden and allow me to finally post those drafts that I’ve been holding back, allowing me to fully infiltrate the web with my creative juices and amazing observances without fear of recourse.
Please welcome to my “mutha” of all disclaimer pages.
I’d love to hear comments, particularly from experienced bloggers. Have I missed anything?