Let’s play a game. If you’re of legal age, take a shot every time I post the word “blog” or any form of the word. A toast (or more) to a wicked hangover tomorrow…
How many blogs would a blogger blog
If a blogger did post blogs?
Why, she’d blog as much as a blogger blogs
If this blogger did post blogs!
Now say that 3 times fast. Sounds like you’re about to hurl one, doesn’t it?
I know, I’m resorting to silly games and alcohol as I try to lure back in any audience I used to have. Is it working? Are you still reading my BLOG?
Seriously though, a fellow blogger once posted some pet peeves, one being bloggers who apologize after not having posted in some time. I had never given it much thought. After all, it seems only natural to say you’re sorry to a loyal audience that you have abandoned. And apologies are nice.
I think back to when I first started this blog. I think of all the great things I was going to accomplish, all the topics I would cover, all the creativity that was going to come spewing out of my fingertips as I would post, post, post away. I had vowed to maybe not post daily, but at least consistently. I would work hard to lure in the readers, keep them coming back, watch those stats go through the roof, win all types of blogging awards, get famous, publish a book, snag a movie deal, and eventually become independently wealthy.
And then I got a little lazy.
It happens to many of us, I think. Life gets in the way. The creative juices stop flowing. You end up with 50 or so drafts in your dashboard that you just can’t make work. You lose your focus, your direction, your will to blog.
So now here I am with a 4-month hiatus under my belt, and I’ve decided that blogger was right. Being apologetic for your absence shows the assumption that readers have been waiting with bated breath to read what you have to write. That perhaps every day your subscribers wake up in the morning and think maybe she posted something today and once they see that you didn’t, they resign themselves to another empty day of mediocrity and letdowns, because they will then have to rely on the consistency of the other millions of bloggers out there.
And it also implies that since you’ve now broken the barrier and posted something…ANYTHING…they are now breathing a sigh of relief, because hey, after 4 long dry months, she’s back!
Pretty arrogant, huh?
And since I’m not a diary-type of blogger, I hardly think anyone is wondering I wonder what’s going on with that can’t-be-serious girl? Did she die? Has she been incarcerated? Is she in rehab? Yeah, rehab. That must be it. She did write about alcohol a lot.
So now in the spirit of the great Tweeter, Amanda Bynes, I deny all these excuses for my absence. I’m alive. I’m not in jail. And since I’m back with a blogging drinking game, one could surmise that rehab is not in my recent past. Furthermore, my fingers were not broken, my laptop has not been in the shop, and I still do remember my password, although it did take a few tries.
I did bleach my hair platinum blonde and pump up my lips a bit, but that’s beside the point.
I never actually stopped writing. I just couldn’t make anything seem quite publishable.
Not like this gem of a post.
So no excuses here and no apologies, just a new will to blog. And a chance to 1) sort of reintroduce myself, 2) see if anyone is still out there, 3) see if that Publish button still works, and 4) get you drunk, I guess, as I bring myself to blog once again.
By the way, I was just kidding about that drinking game. You knew that, right?
Perhaps it’s a good time to point out my disclaimer again.